Wednesday, March 30, 2005

10 Laws for BetTer LifE

By Cory Quirino

IN HIS book, "Life Strategies-Stop Making Excuses," Dr. Phillip C. McGraw (yes, of Oprah fame) shares his wisdom with all who care to listen-and change. The lessons are in a set of life laws designed to strengthen our lives.

Life Law No. 1: You either get it or you don't.
Some people say, "Don't make foolish mistakes simply because they have figured out that there is a definite formula for success." Know the difference between living and existing.
Existing-a reactive self-preservation with the goal of getting by from day to day.
Living-going through life with skills needed to reach a certain goal. The key is to understand what motivates you and other people. Mastering those skills will get you everywhere.

Assignment: Write down on a piece of paper all the questions you have about your life-considering patterns of old behavior. Challenge them.

Life Law No. 2: You create your own experience.
Accept and acknowledge that you are responsible for your life. You, not anyone else, are accountable for your life, whether it is a success or failure, happy or joyous, good or bad. Understand this. Diagnose your situation well that you may find the right solution. If you accept yourself as a victim, then there is no salvation for you. Accept your accountability now.
Assignment: Ask yourself:
* Why is my life causing me grief?* Have I been foolish?* Did I fool myself into believing my choices were not wrong?* Must I stop my old behavior?* Did I fail to take action?* Am I looking in the wrong place for the answers?
Don't be a loser by blaming someone else.

Life Law No. 3: People do what works.
There is a payoff for every behavior. If you identify the pay offs you can control them, and then you can control your life.
Example: You have a family history of cancer, but you are a heavy smoker anyway. Or, you once had ulcers but you continue to drink just the same.
Reward good behavior, not bad behavior. Are you "feeding off some kind of payoffs" that may be detrimental to your mental and emotional health?
Example: You tolerate an abusive husband/wife only because you will not accept a separation/divorce.

Life Law No. 4: You can't change what you don't acknowledge.
If you are unwilling to acknowledge a certain situation in your life, then you are not willing and able to change it. If you live in denial by not wanting to face your real life situation, then you are running away from yourself. Address the denial in your life or continue to deceive yourself.

Life Law No. 5: Life rewards action.
Thought without action is impotent. Better to just do what you say than just say and not do.
Truth: People don't give importance to your intentions. They care about what you do, not what you say.
Assignment: Don't make promises you cannot keep. If you continue to do what you do with no significance, you are in a rut.

Life Law No. 6: There is no reality, only perception.
What you see in a situation is the value you give it-this is your reality. And how you look at it will determine your happiness or peace.

Life Law No. 7: Life is managed; it is not cured.
Holding on to your life and whatever situation you may be in does not guarantee instant results. Hanging in there with determination is the key. Nobody ever said life was easy.

Life Law No. 8: We teach people how to treat us.
How you validate someone's behavior toward you determines how they will treat you. If you feel you deserve better, let him/her know it.

Life Law No. 9: There is power in forgiveness.
Anger and bitterness can consume you. You gain everything by forgiving those who have hurt you.

Life Law No. 10: You have to name it to claim it.
Know what you want. Once you do you can claim it. Indecision will breed inaction. Recognize the behaviors that will support it and not those that will sidetrack you.
A life situation: You are miserable about your poor health.
Fact: You don't eat healthy food. You don't exercise. You don't admit to yourself that you are making yourself sick. You are in denial about your health problem. You will get sicker if you don't do something about it now.
What to do: Admit, accept, renew. Claim your health goal. Back it up with action. Take charge. Reward yourself.

Affirm: "I will succeed in becoming healthy."
Love and light!

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